Tool Singer Shows How Chris Rock Could’ve Blocked Will Smith’s Smack

Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan took to Instagram to share a humorous instructional video of a martial arts technique Chris Rock could have used in defending himself against Will Smith’s infamous smack at the Academy Awards.

The video is from Keenan’s own Jiu Jitsu academy, where the Tool vocalist depicts a simple move that “could have saved Chris Rock’s life,” in the singer’s own tongue-in-cheek words. Of course, Rock is still very much alive, but according to some people, like film director Judd Apatow, Smith “could have killed” the comedian with that slap across the face.

To demonstrate, Keenan squares up against his pupil, who gives Maynard an Oscars-style smack across the face. On the second attempt, Maynard simply lifts his left arm to block the incoming hand. If only Chris Rock had done a bit of self-defense training at Maynard’s academy, perhaps the situation at the Oscars would have been far different.

As for what Keenan calls the move, it’s a “cuck block.” Alright, we’ll explain: A “cuck” is “a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful.” Jada Pinkett Smith has admitted to having an affair during a rough patch in her marriage to Will Smith. Hence, Keenan’s clever pun.

“I realize we’re on the ass end of beating this dead horse, but f ** kit,” Keenan posted in the Instagram caption. “Greetings from my academy… First Class is Always Free!”

Update: Maynard has added another video, this time to demonstrate what Rock could have done in case Smith went for a headlock. Of course, this one is called the “cuck hold.” Get it?!?

Add it to the long list of funny clips featuring the Tool frontman. He recently indulged in another bit of comedy gold, replacing drummer Danny Carey’s gong mallet with a giant dildo during a concert. Tool’s North American tour just wrapped up, but they’re heading back out across Europe in late April. Get tickets via Ticketmaster.

Watch Maynard’s self-defense “cuck block” and “cuck hold” instructional videos below.

Leave a Comment