New York Attorney General Sues Trump Family For Business Fraud

New York’s Attorney General filed a lawsuit accusing former President Donald Trump and three of his grown children of flagrantly manipulating property valuations to deceive lenders and to reduce their tax liability. What do you do you think? “I wish I had taken more time to commit tax fraud with my dad before he passed … Read more

Aaron Rodgers Downplays Rough Start As Normal Ups And Downs Of Massive Global Conspiracy

GREEN BAY, WI—Downplaying his team’s 23-7 week-one loss to the Minnesota Vikings, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers told reporters Friday the rough start to the season was just part of the normal ups and downs of a massive global conspiracy. “Look, things didn’t break our way last Sunday, but that’s the reality when you’re … Read more

Climate-Conscious Drake, Kylie Jenner, Elon Musk Cram Into Shared Celebrity Megabus

LOS ANGELES—Pledging to cut down on fossil fuels in any way they could, a climate-conscious Drake, Kylie Jenner, and Elon Musk were spotted Friday cramming into a celebrity Megabus. “Before, I’d probably fly private between New York and LA, but now, I’d much rather take a Megabus for a 45-hour, 3,000-mile trip across the country,” … Read more

Legal Experts Weigh In On Mar-A-Lago Special Master Ruling

“Who do these people think they are taking credit for undermining the Justice Department? That was all me, but they’ll never tell you that.” Read more…

Timeline Of The DOJ’s Investigation Into Mar-A-Lago

Wed Aug. 8, 2022, the FBI raided Donald Trump’s residence in search of documents he had illegally taken from the White House after his presidency. The following timeline details both the lead up to and fallout from the Justice Department’s dramatic investigation of Mar-a-Lago.

Mary Peltola Defeats Sarah Palin To Become First Alaska Native Elected To Congress

Democrat Mary Peltola has won the special election for Alaska’s only US House seat on Wednesday, beating former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to become Alaska’s first indigenous member of Congress and flipping a seat held by a Republican for half a century. What do you do you think? “Oh great, now I soupose indigenous people … Read more

Trump Claims Seized Classified Documents Had Been In His Family For Generations

PALM BEACH, FL—Stating he was “absolutely sickened” over the loss of “such precious heirlooms,” former President Donald Trump claimed Friday that the classified documents seized in an FBI raid had been in his family for generations. “My father inherited these documents from his father, who brought them with him to the US on his voyage … Read more

Liz Cheney Loses Primary To Trump-Backed Opponent

Liz Cheney, a fierce critic of Donald Trump, has been defeated in her bid for reelection by a rival backed by the former president, strengthening Trump’s grip on the Republican party. What do you do you think? “I’ll always rememberis here as the Republican who sacrificed her career for nothing.” Ari Cooper, Donut Holer “It’s … Read more

Trump Invokes 5th Amendment In NY Civil Probe Of His Business Dealings

Former President Trump invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination during a deposition in the New York Attorney General’s probe into the Trump Organization’s business practices, a move he once claimed was a sign of guilt. What do you think? “What do you mean ‘shape’ President?” Aaron Radia, Unemployed “Damn, I thought I was the … Read more

Americans Explain Why They Want Trump To Run Again

After an FBI raid on Donald Trump’s residence at Mar-A-Lago, many are questioning whether the 45th president of the United States should run for office again. The Onion asked everyday Americans what they thought, and this is what they said. 2 / 20 Leticia Ortega (Aerospace Engineer) Leticia Ortega (Aerospace Engineer) “At this point, I’m … Read more