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Must we include my fiance’s chilly family in our wedding?

Dear Amy: Three years ago, I successfully followed your advice on how to manage my boyfriend’s codependent family. We are now engaged!

Through therapy my fiance and I have learned to navigate their emotional immaturity and have grown immensely as a couple as a result.

I am now wondering about wedding planning. What are the expectations around including in-laws who do not act as though they want to be included?

Immediately after we were engaged, my family began expressing excited enthusiasm for our plans.

His mother could not even crack a smile on the day of the engagement. His family has not mentioned the engagement a single time since it happened (and we see them every week).

It seems incredibly awkward and presumptuous to say to his parents, “Would you like to be included financially in the wedding planning?” or even, “We have started to plan, would you like to be involved?” when his family did not even congratulate us on the engagement.

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