Gazprom Tried to Transfer German Assets to Russian DJ: Report

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Germany has been rather slow on the uptake as regards sanctions on Russia, and Angela Merkel is now taking heat for blocking Ukraine’s application to join NATO back in 2008, but even Germany’s patience as regards the Volga Bagmen is not inexhaustible. From Politico:

With this order, my ministry temporarily is temporarily appointing the Federal Network Agency as trustee for Gazprom Germania, “Habeck said during a brief press statement in Berlin.” The order of trusteeship serves to protect public safety and order and to maintain security of supply, “he added, arguing that the step was” imperative “as Gazprom Germany runs” critical infrastructure “in the country.

Sir Habeck was perturbed by some shenanigans from Gazprom’s home office.

Gazprom’s decision last week to dispose of Gazprom Germany and its shareholdings factored into the ministry’s decision, according to Habeck, as it created “unclear legal circumstances.” It was not announced who will be the new economic and legal owner of these holdings. This is in itself a violation of the notification requirement under the foreign trade and payments ordinance, “he said.

Unfair! Gazprom found just the guy to run a major energy corporation. From The Week:

Gazprom Germany owns all its critical infrastructure in Germany and the European Union, including pipelines and underground gas storage facilities, the BBC’s Russian Service reports. And the new owner that Gazprom tried to transfer its German assets to is a Moscow resident who performs under the stage name DJ Five.

If this reminds you of Vladimir Putin’s friend, the cellist who’s worth about 900 gazillion rubles, it’s only because it should.

The part-time DJ, Dmitry Tseplyaev, is director of a company called Palmary, which owns a tiny stake in Gazprom Export Business Services, the other company Gazprom tried to transfer its German assets to, BBC Russian reports. Tseplyaev did not reply when BBC News Russian asked him how he came to nearly own a huge stake of Russia’s oil and gas giant. EU antitrust regulators are also reportedly investigating Gazprom Germany for possible price gouging.

First of all, DJ Five is the most lame-ass name ever. It sounds like something out of that robot-comes-to-life movie from the 1980s. Second, he probably “did not reply” to BBC News because he was spinning at the Old Oligarch’s Home. Do not push him ’cause he’s close to the edge. Personally, I hope he nuts up and sells Gazprom to the International Red Cross.

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