The first Carnival Cruise Lines ship set sail on March 11, 1972, ushering in an era of modern-day luxury cruise liners that have generated their share of headlines over the years. The Onion looks at highlights in the history of Carnival Cruise Lines on its 50-year anniversary.
10,000 BC-1972: Millions perish each year attempting to vacation on the open seas while staying within their budget.
1972: Founder Ted Arison launches first-ever place to simultaneously legally commit a murder and enjoy unlimited soft-serve ice cream.
1979: Bookings soar after ships redesigned to be buoyant.
1982: Sixty unsuspecting men of seafaring age lured with opium-laced whiskey and press-ganged into service aboard Carnival Tropicale.
1993: 50,000th safety instruction presentation ignored.
2003: US requisitions Carnival Prison Camp on Guantanamo Bay to detain terrorist suspects.
2007: Ships start having life jackets.
2019: Carnival Legend and Carnival Glory collide in epic game of chicken.
2021: Company announces exclusive COVID variant you can only get on their ships.
2022: Jim and Barbara Benson still talking about dead bodies they saw off the side of their cruise ship in the Bahamas back in 2005.